What do you say about this?

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by Rohit.
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  • #38790
    shaddysha
    Spectator

    I read this somewhere. Just wanted to share.

    Once, a long time ago in the days of yore, I had a friend who was studying architecture to become, presumably, an architect.
    This friend introduced me to other friends, who were also studying
    architecture. Then these friends had other friends who were architects
    – real architects doing real architecture like designing luxury condos
    that look a lot like glass dildos. And these real architects knew other
    real architects and now the only people I know are architects. And they
    all design glass dildos that I will never work or live in and serve
    only to obstruct my view of New Jersey.

    Do not get me wrong, architects. I like you as a person. I think you
    are nice, smell good most of the time, and I like your glasses. You
    have crazy hair, and if you are lucky, most of it is on your head. But
    I do not care about architecture. It is true. This is what I do care
    about:

    * burritos
    * hedgehogs
    * coffee

    As you can see, architecture is not on the list. I believe that
    architecture falls somewhere between toenail fungus and invasive
    colonoscopy in the list of things that interest me.

    Perhaps if you didn’t talk about it so much, I would be more
    interested. When you point to a glass cylinder and say proudly, hey my
    office designed that, I giggle and say it looks like a bong. You turn
    your head in disgust and shame. You think, obviously she does not
    understand. What does she know? She is just a writer. She is no
    architect. She respects vowels, not glass cocks. And then you say now I
    am designing a lifestyle center, and I ask what is that, and you say it
    is a place that offers goods and services and retail opportunities and
    I say you mean like a mall and you say no. It is a lifestyle center. I
    say it sounds like a mall. I am from the Valley, bitch. I know malls.

    Architects, I will not lie, you confuse me. You work sixty, eighty
    hours a week and yet you are always poor. Why aren’t you buying me a
    drink? Where is your bounty of riches? Maybe you spent it on merlot.
    Maybe you spent it on hookers and blow. I cannot be sure. It is a
    mystery. I will leave that to the scientists to figure out.

    Architects love to discuss how much sleep they have gotten. One will
    say how he was at the studio until five in the morning, only to return
    again two hours later. Then another will say, oh that is nothing. I
    haven’t slept in a week. And then another will say, guess what, I have
    never slept ever. My dear architects, the measure of how hard you’ve
    worked and how much you’ve accomplished is not related to the number of
    hours you have not slept. Have you heard of Rem Koolhaas? He is a
    famous architect. I know this because you tell me he is a famous
    architect. I hear that Rem Koolhaas is always sleeping. He is, I
    presume, sleeping right now. And I hear he gets shit done. And I also
    hear that in a stunning move, he is making a building that looks not
    like a glass cock, but like a concrete vagina. When you sleep more, you
    get vagina. You can all take a lesson from Rem Koolhaas.

    Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important
    part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just
    got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate
    hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will
    go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about
    AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you
    believe that is all I did today, what a drag. I look around the table
    at the poor, tired, and hungry, and think to myself, I have but only
    one bullet left in the gun. Who will I choose?

    I have a friend who is a doctor. He gives me drugs. I enjoy them. I
    have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped me sue my landlord. My
    architect friends have given me nothing. No drugs, no medical advice,
    and they don’t know how to spell subpoena. One architect friend figured
    out that my apartment was one hundred and eighty seven square feet.
    That was nice. Thanks for that.

    I suppose one could ask what someone like me brings to architects
    like yourselves. I bring cheer. I yell at architects when they start
    talking about architecture. I force them to discuss far more
    interesting topics, like turkey eggs. Why do we eat chicken eggs, but
    not turkey eggs? They are bigger. And people really like turkey. See? I
    am not afraid to ask the tough questions.

    So, dear architects, I will stick around, for only a little while. I
    hope that one day some of you will become doctors and lawyers or will
    figure out my taxes. And we will laugh at the days when you spent the
    entire evening talking about some European you’ve never met who
    designed a building you will never see because you are too busy working
    on something that will never get built. But even if that day doesn’t
    arrive, give me a call anyway, I am free.

    Yours truly,
    Annie Choi

    #38982

    I would say she needs to find new friends.

    If she wants "normal" people to hang out with, she shouldn’t be hanging out with architects. Architects, like all artists, can not be considered "normal". Yes, just like painters talking about their works, architects like to talk about what they’re working on, especially because it "may never get built." And that is also why they are so proud to point out a building that DID get made.

    I think she’s just bitter because, unlike her doctor and lawyer friends, her architect friends don’t get paid nearly as much as people think they do. And so they can’t buy her nice things. And she also doesn’t see eye to eye on art. I think she spends much too much time equating things to genital references.

    EDIT:  I found her site online and looked about.  She seems to be a very sarcastic person in general, and many works are not really working toward a specific point.  She is like a strange modern "artist" who uses words instead of images–you can see the whole collection and not leave any more enriched than you were.

    #38983
    Rohit
    Guest

    victus_maestro….. You are right, she didn’t leave us any new info that would have enriched us but we must say that her story had something which attracted us to read it so quickly although everything she wrote was very obvious.

    I think the truthfulness of her story and the point of view of how others think of architects is what kept us attached to such a long post for a long time…..

    I enjoyed reading it though..thumbs up!

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